The Tale Of Snark-y Lynn
I was the ripe age of twenty-one and all was going perfectly to plan. I awoke with the sun and walked alone on the beach every morning before classes. I ran three miles with my Neptune beach running partner in preparation for the Gate River Run. Our metabolisms burned off the beer we’d drunk on Friday nights at the local pub - where our story begins.
Snark-y Lynn was a musician friend of a friend of a friend. He had a full face, mediocre guitar skills, but was blessed with a voice from the heavens. He sang me into love, and with bright red lips I blushingly gave him the sought after “I love you” within a few short months. Snark-y settled into my bones so quickly I couldn’t remember a time without him.
A year and a day passed and I woke realizing I was twenty pounds lighter than before, sans running friend, sans most friends, spending all free time at Snark-y’s bar-time music shows. The relationship’s end was longer than the begin, falling out of love often harder than the falling in.
A couple of years later, my body was back to her normal weight and I left Florida for good. Clarity settled over me like a warm weighted blanket.
My pattern of choosing the same circular lifestyle choices didn’t begin with Mr. Snark-y Linn and didn’t end either.
Almost twenty years away from Snark-y and that town, I still vividly remember minor details I never expected I would. The moments etched into my heart and nerves that once made every subconscious choice for me are finally learning to shut the hell up. With the quieting of those voices intuition reigns supreme (most days let’s be real here).
Last year, I took some huge risks by saying no to a few financially-beneficial opportunities with the most amazing results. Dreams I had as a kid have started coming true. Day by day I am finally seeing that perseverance can move mountains. Welcoming change and making the fearful choice can feel scary, but can also be liberating.
Often we celebrate love for others on this day but I’d like to celebrate love for oneself, even for the briefest moment. How far we’ve come. How we’ve honored our hearts this year, last year, this morning, last night, right now this very minute.